I just got my exam results and I did waaayyy better than I would’ve imagined, thank God 😀
The thing is, I was quite a mess right before the exams. I was so emotionally unstable that I got to the point where I didn’t care about what would happen anymore. My exams were getting closer but it wasn’t sinking in and all I wanted to do was hide in my dream world. This wasn’t helping me at all.
So I sought help.
First, I went to see my tutor. He was very understanding and it was quite a relief because he didn’t invalidate what I felt. Then I went to see another ECS member of staff and he gave me some music(!) to help me heal. After that, I went to see a counsellor. It’s funny, really. There’s this huge stigma attached to seeing a counsellor. Some people think that there must be something horribly wrong with you to be seeking counselling. I suppose that’s true in some ways, but what makes it surprising is how people reacted when they knew I was seeing a counsellor. Some people thought I didn’t really need to. Some people felt hurt because I chose to seek help elsewhere instead of turning to them.
Well to be perfectly honest, seeing my counsellor was a turning point for me. In fact, if it weren’t for my counselling sessions, I don’t think I could’ve regained control and learned as much about myself as I have right now. Yet how do you convince other people that you’re merely trying to sort yourself out? How do you convince them that seeing a counsellor doesn’t mean that you don’t trust your friends? How do you stop yourself from being branded as mentally unwell?
The answer? You just don’t. You can’t control what other people say about you, nor should you even care. If you’re being true to yourself, that’s all that matters.
I am very blessed to have such a strong support network here in Southampton and ECS particularly. If you feel like you’re in trouble, look for help because there are people out there who genuinely care about your well-being. I’d also like to give a huge shout-out to my friends, especially Nurul, Jas, Sam and Andrej, for being my source of strength. But most importantly, thanks to a special someone, MS, who taught me so much and made me grow wiser. I can never thank you enough 🙂
I’ve got a new personal blog to mark this new chapter in my life. I hope to achieve as much of my dreams as possible and there’s no better place for me to do this than in Southampton 😀