Computer Systems Engineering Lab Partner

“Oh yes,” says my lab partner, taking his hand slowly off the dials of our laser-powered-communications-testy-ma-thing. “I am the MASTER of fine adjustments!”

It had sort of got to that point. You can only spend so long meticulously observing “laser safety” before the insanity starts to creep in. It didn’t help that we were all made to swear oaths of blood (alright, maybe just sign forms) promising the following:

1. I will not undertake any laser work without a supervisor.
2. I will not attempt to interfere with the interlock on the device.
3. I will not look directly at the laser beam.
4. I will not attempt to give partner eye correction surgery using said laser…

I might have made up the last one. I just feel that if you can’t trust students with highly-dangerous pieces of equipment, who can you trust? The supervisor selection system. Apparently.

When my personal tutor referred to the process ECS uses to allocate third-year-project supervisors as a “Stable Marriage Algorithm”, I thought he was joking. Now I’m not quite sure why. It’s exactly the sort of random idea that ECS would come up with. I have a theory that engineers shouldn’t be allowed to name things.

At least “Stable Marriage Algorithm” makes it sound fairly cosy. Maths, but with net curtains and floral patterning on the cushions. It’s not. It’s more like a swarm of angry bees. Bees with keywords tied to them. Or maybe I’m overreacting and that’s just the stress talking.

While I haven’t been struggling to order all 90 possible third-year supervisors into a perfect list of preference, I’ve been busy with report deadlines. Two major group projects have decided (as they always do) to come to a head at exactly the same time. The trouble is, they’re with different groups, and I was never that good at remembering people’s names to start with. To everyone I have mis-named in the past week, I apologise. Especially if you’re my boyfriend.

And it’s not likely to get much better any time soon. Exams are on the way, with their usual array of salivating jaws and multi-part questions. And here’s me, left with only my glittering army of coloured gel pens to fend them off.

Computer Systems Engineering better be ready to kneel. I’m writing my revision notes in pink!